I have a simple question for you today: What is your prayer life like?
How do you pray? What do you believe about prayer, and what are the things about prayer that you don’t understand or that trouble you?
I want to hear from everyone, whether you normally agree with me or think I should be burned at the stake, whether you call yourself a Christian or are still searching.
Answer in any way you like.
Peace of Christ to you, friend.
I tend to pray throughout the day, while I’m doing other things, like while driving or cooking or taking a shower. I used to think that praying required solitude and a large block of time, but both of those are difficult to come by in my house. When I clung to the idea of having a “prayer time” I ended up just never praying. The current method solves that problem, but somehow feels less legit. The book Sacred Chaos by Tricia McCary Rhodes helped me come to terms with this method.
The problem I have with prayer is that I get discouraged when I don’t feel some sort of emotional “connection” with God on a daily basis. I try to remind myself that prayer has value even when I don’t “feel” something specific. I do think, though, that the great value of prayer is for the person praying, that they would somehow be changed rather than the situation being changed (though I suppose I believe situations are sometimes changed by prayer).
I am very interested in the idea of rote prayer like the Book of Common Prayer or even things like praying the rosary, but don’t really take the time to research them or even think through what it is about them that interests me.
I resonate with the idea of praying throughout the day. I would describe much the same thing in myself, though it is a mix of conscious prayer and an inner dialogue that I “allow” God in on.
I am interested in that book Sacred Chaos. I will have to look it up.
I’ve started using the Book of Common Prayer in the last few months, which has been a good way to center my mind and heart. Typically I’ll read Morning Prayers, then I pray throughout the day about whatever comes to mind, people I see, my dreams, etc. Before I turn out the lights, I read my Bible and then pray to wrap up the day. My evening prayers tend to be a bit more impassioned, maybe due to the late hour or dim light. I have a hard time with praying for certain dreams of mine because there’s no guarantee that these things will happen and my prayers haven’t changed anything yet. Is it better to pray that my life would stay in line with His or to be like the nagging widow with the same petition? So far I waver between the two.
I started using the BCP at the beginning of Advent last year and have found it very encouraging. The collects have helped guide my prayer and give me a focus each week.
i pray outloud when nobody is around, so the devil can hear. i believe prayer works, if the pray-er has a right heart with God and no unforgiveness in his heart towards another. i ask others to pray for me if i truly know that they will.
will you pray for me and my family david? pray for my dear husband and that God will find a way into his heart. pray that i will be strong and that my boys will be comforted. pray that i will be okay when my world seems to be crashing around me. pray that i will stay peaceful like Jesus told me to. thank you.
i really need to start blogging again…
Oh Vicki, I’m not sure how helpful my prayer is, but I will certainly remember your family as I pray today. I hope everything is well with you and yours.
I think prayer has become mostly an unconscious thought these days. I converse in my head frequently throughout the day… and don’t really think of it as praying until I look at a question like this. I don’t address God directly in those moments, but keep a running commentary of my day in my head.
I also sing… or read quotes or read books… I guess sometimes I actually address God at the beginning… but mostly i just include him in whatever’s happening in my head or going through my brain. I see it all as prayer.
What troubles me is the invasion of prayer into my mind… learning that it was okay to let God know when you were mad (that I wasn’t keeping these things secret from him) was huge when I first realized it… but since, I’ve struggled with feeling like i should have a line. Some sort of “I know it’s okay to say ‘fuck’ to you because you know i’m thinking it, but I probably still shouldn’t use it in prayer because it’s not very reverent, though it’s quite honest.” That’s probably my issue these days… God and I seem to go around quite a bit on what it means to be holy, whether it is something evidenced through my actual actions or precise words, or is something more that comes from the principles of how I live– with honesty or vulnerability or a hell of a huge leap of faith. I guess prayer falls into that area of tension in which I try to dance or at least stand.
I keep the running commentary as well. I think that’s a classic introvert trait, and as our minds work in very similar ways I’m not surprised we both do this.
I know what you mean the tension of honesty with God. True, naked honesty with ourselves is hard enough, but with another being there is even more discomfort and defensiveness. On the other hand, it makes me trust His grace more, because if He knows my thoughts and still wants communion with me, I know I can’t scare or disgust Him away.
defensiveness. Good word.
I think I tend to wait for God to scold me about the things I think/pray, or the way i think/pray, or (when I directly address him) the situations I got myself into that made me feel an urgent desire to involve him.
and then I find myself wanting to defend myself against He-Who-Attacks-Me-Not. Does the church pitch a bitch fit about these things? Sure. But God? No… he’s just waiting for me to fall, exhausted, out of the ring and take off my gloves and stop defending myself against the accusations that aren’t there. Probably, the ring isn’t really there either.
I want to trust more this Being I call God. But most of the time, the want is about as far as I get. Oh, my issues. Have you read Auslander’s book, Foreskin’s Lament? There’s this repeated line: “I believe in God. It’s been a real problem for me.” In the most reverent way I can manage, I echo that.
I have a prayer life that is not terribly consistent. Generally I will pray for someone/a situation whenever it pops into my head, but usually only if it directly affects me or someone I know. I know it’s not very compassionate, but more often than not I can’t work up a good impassioned prayer for my pastor’s wife’s friend’s daughter.
I think that what hinders my prayer life most is this ongoing frustration I have with not hearing God audibly, or seeing him, or being able to touch him. While a large part of me knows that there is someone who hears my prayers, an equally large part of me is frustrated that I can’t see or hear that same someone that I am praying to.
I think that is a challenge will all aspects of belief, not just prayer. It’s tough, trying to see a reality that isn’t right in front of you.
I pray throughout the day. When I have problems, when I’m whining or worried or tired or happy, I toss my emotions at God. I keep up a running dialogue in my head with God. Sometimes I worry that the dialogue is self-centered, that I’m subconsciously talking to myself instead of God, but I figure if I intend it for God, then God will take it as such. Something along the lines of cogito, ergo sum.
I also pray with my family. Over the years we’ve grown more and more comfortable praying for the tiniest of things. When someone is upset, when something isn’t going right, when we need wisdom, someone will offer to pray for someone else. Alternately, we’ll sit down, set a timer, and take a few minutes to pray in silence together and then talk over our thoughts. I’m also pretty sure I have a spiritual gift of prayer of some sort, so it’s not a surprise that I often initiate the prayers in our family and that I often know when someone needs a prayer. When I get a sense that a person needs prayer, I’ll keep up a mantra of supplication in my head while I’m as work or doing tasks around the house. This is one of the most powerful ways I know how to pray.
What I don’t do lately is pray during my devotional time. I go through stages where I feel a very strong connection to God and I end up spontaneously praying as I’m reading my Bible. Sometimes I do lectio divina and spend a lot of time journaling and praying intermittently during my devotional time. This isn’t one of those phases in my life. I feel a bit stale and a bit overreached, especially since I’ve been doing a lot of spontaneous prayer for others. Occasionally I feel guilty that I don’t have a more routine method of prayer right now, but since I spend a ton of my time praying for others, telling God about my problems, and consciously opening my heart and mind to God’s wisdom and direction – well, I figure for now, it’s okay not to have a rote routine.
Like Melinda and I discussed above, I keep that running dialogue as well. I think this does work as a type of prayer when we allow God into it consciously.
Hmmm…my current relationship with prayer would be another one of those long, drawn-out passages like the email I sent you and Lyndie (I owe her a reply, btw). Not an easy answer. My prayer today was just conversational stuff with God as I went along. Didn’t give Him a special, set-aside time. Need to.
My prayer life, much like my faith is terminally ill. For the last 3 years or so I have been desperately searching for God. In the past I have been very religious, I used to preach. But about three years ago I realized that mine was a blind faith, never questioning what I grew up believing. I then began to realize that I have never really had a relationship with God. When I prayed, it was like I was just speaking to myself. It has been an incredibly quiet and lonely time for me being in the silence of God. I have tried many things over the years to keep myself praying. I dedicated myself for the month of July to the prayer of Examen (Loyola) but really didn’t benefit. I am lost and cannot find my way out, I am crying out for help but there doesn’t appear to be anyone to hear my prayers. I am still committed to raising my young sons to believe in God in hopes that they can have a relationship with God that I am not able to enjoy, but am finding it very difficult. I am coming to terms with the reality that I am outside of God’s realm of concern but fear that my rejection will become a hindrance to their spiritual development.
Scott, thank you for being honest and sharing what you’re going through. I’m not sure what these words from someone you don’t know will mean, but I can assure you God has not rejected you. I am sure of very little when it comes to theology, but I am sure that He loves us dearly, and desires to know us. I can’t offer much encouragement for the way you’ve been feeling, because I know that is a lonely place to be and I don’t want to offer trite little truisms as bandaids on a gaping wound. But I will pray, feebly and weakly, that God will make Himself known to you. You are not alone. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more. Peace of Christ to you, friend.
I have a thing about taking advantage of people: I hate it. I don’t want anyone, least ways god, to feel like I’m wanting to use them. I don’t pray, because I know I’m not convinced I’m capable of listening / hearing back and therefore it would just be me running my mouth without reciprocating.
I also have a thing about hoensty: I like it. So I dont tell people I’m praying for them, or say I will if I asked. Sometimes I even say that its because it probably wouldn’t help them because I’m not likely to receive favors. But when I see someone I love in pain, I do squeeze out a gasping, “please”.
The closest I come to prayer is standing still to feel the ache of too fast expansion in my ribcage when I can feel the weighty beauty of color and love and pain and kindness and texture spread its wings. I throb with gratitude and breathe out thanks with tears.