One of the most amusing sections of my blog stats page is the little window that tells me what people have searched for to find my blog. Most of them make sense. Some of them do not. Guess which are more amusing. In no particular order, here are some of my favorites.
1. Guatemalan ant candy – I’ve talked plenty about Guatemala, and I’ve talked about ant candy, but I don’t recall ever talking about Guatemalan ant candy, which must have left this searcher very disappointed.
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer fighting stills – Actually, this isn’t baffling at all. There has been at least one shot from the show used on this blog, and I think you should take that as a good thing.
3. hardest part of being a parent my daughter didn’t make cheer leader – This is hilarious, because one of my points in this list of ten hardships was the fear that someday she will want to be a cheerleader.
4. peed in the creek – How exactly are you looking for Google to help you with this?
5. Where is your uterus at 12 weeks? – Probably the same place you keep it the rest of the time.
6. realistic animal wild bobcat toy – I…I just…huh.
7. beautiful girl video game programmers – Okay, yes, I have discussed a particular “girl video game programmer”, and yes, she is lovely. But that was absolutely not the point of the post, which was all about successful women who are empowering examples for girls.
8. americanbutts – arejustaboutthesameaseveryoneelse’s.
9. baby riding lion – There is, in fact, a picture of me riding a lion on this blog, but it was made of stone. Do pictures exist on the internet of a baby riding a real one? What am I talking about, of course they do.
10. comic strip faces of screaming fear – That pretty much sums it up, yes.
11. is feeling really tired and drained – Welcome, friend. We meet every week, and there are donuts.
12. resant reading – Which I’m guessing there hasn’t been much of in this case.
13. how should a 29 year old act – I wish I knew.
14. spanking wife discipline – Damn it, did those pics get posted again?! How many times will it take us to learn?
15. girl poo swimming poo – People are neat.
16. dreaming of swimming in feces – Thanks, Alise. Thanks. Really. Ongoing variations on this search’s theme are part of your gift to me that keeps on giving.
17. how was ur easter sunday hope u had a great time. iam happy u like the gift i sent you… – mine was great thx how bout u. r u sure u not mean 2 put this on fb instead?
18. what is a “recent reading” – In your case? Probably “ever”.
19. posts about poo – Glad I can help.
20. i am introvert. i fall in love with extrovert. – Friends not like each other. See now it was bad idea from start. All ends in tears.
21. elf getting hit by a car pictures – I shouldn’t laugh, I’ve probably searched for this too.
22. legal ways to get kids to shut up – Well, see, legality is a funny thing.
23. women suck at maths - Another Friday night without a date, eh, champ? There’s no need to be a jerk about it.
24. arminian parenting – Pretty much the same, you just don’t have to worry that your kid being a pain in the ass was all part of God’s plan for you from the beginning.
25. beatrix kiddo is a fictional character highly skilled in what – Stop screwing with me, Trebek. We’ve been over this. YOU give the answers, I ask the questions. Now, try again.
So what is the craziest search that has led people to your blog site?